An Open Letter to Parents Regarding Your Strollers: When you have a small child that can’t walk, I understand them. You don’t want to be immobilized in the wasteland that is now your house-with-small-child. Who would? So in the stroller, they go and you can go for a walk. Great. But then you bring your giant baby tank that carries more of your own shit than baby into the subway during rush hour. WTF? A subway car is approximately 4 feet wide, and at least a foot of that is taken up on either side by seats. During rush hour there are already people packing into those cars as if the world was ending and this exact car is the only one that stands a chance in hell of getting out; I do NOT need your fucking Baby Tank slamming into my knees and knocking me even further into the unwashed man that I’m already pressed back to front with. And then you have the audacity to look at me like it’s my fault there isn’t enough room for your Hummer-sans-engine? No. Wait for the next fucking train. Even worse than you with the Hummer and tiny children are you who bring the Baby Tank with children who are big enough to sit on seats – and let them sit on seats while leaving the tank open. There is already not enough room on this goddamn train; I am tired, I am probably carrying a really heavy bag, and now not only can’t I sit because your sprog is too precious to be kept in its tank, but I can’t even stand comfortably because said fucking tank is rolling over my toes. Okay, here’s another thing. I am single. I am 27. I am not planning on marrying because I don’t even have a boyfriend, and to be honest a boyfriend is not high on my list of priorities. And I am NOT planning on children. Ever. I don’t need them. I don’t want them. I don’t see them fitting into my life now, or 5 years in the future, or frankly ever. And yet everyone I’ve said this to? ‘Oh, you’ll change your mind.’ ‘You’ll feel differently when you’re older/before long.’ ‘It’s different when they’re yours.’ ‘But WHY?’ ‘How can you not want children?’ ‘Don’t you owe it to your parents?’ All of you get the fuck out. It’s none of your business why I don’t want to have children, and it’s absolutely none of your business where my decision stands with my parents. Why would you think that your desire to spawn obviously means that I must have the same want? Let me tell you – just because I have lady parts capable does not mean I want them to be put to use for it. And how dare you talk down to me like a child is obviously the end-all destiny of my life and imply that I’m being selfish not to give in? Being barely able to keep myself in a tiny ass apartment, there is no sound financial reason to have a child and get us both kicked out of it. Keep your fantasized, fetishized delusion of the wonders of children to yourself – I want no part of it.
Monday, Apr 6, 2026
