Nature Calls

Nature Calls
There are a lot of things I don’t understand about women, but one of the most baffling is the group trips to the bathroom. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the middle of a perfectly decent conversation when all of a sudden its like a tear gas bomb exploded in the middle of our circle and ALL of the women file out towards the bathroom like soldiers on a DEFCON 5 mission. Not sure if there are secret handle signals or hormone secretions involved, but somehow they all just know and within seconds an entire friend group is gone. And they don’t just leave – they’re MIA. Might as well get a few more rounds because those girls aren’t surfacing for at least 20 minutes. What goes on in those bathroom rendezvous? Do you need help wiping? A friend to assist with your mascara reapplication? WHAT? Because I can tell you a guy’s trip to the John involves a routine emptying of the bladder, hand washing, and then it’s back to the party. Come on, ladies, lets us in on what happens during those toiletside chats of yours. Because all men think it’s weird.