Dumb F***

Dumb F***
You want to hear a true story and then you’ll know what really pisses me off? “Artsy” wannabee annoying fucks, that’s what. I was riding in a cab to, you guessed it, an art show, with, you guessed it, “artist,” and boy was that a bust. The entire cab ride it seemed I kept getting chunks spat on my face from all the bullshit he was feeding me. “And these are my new pictures,” (yes, he had them saved in his IPHONE for shameless self promotion.) This guy, A. Looked like a tool bag. B. Was wearing SUNGLASSES at NIGHT TIME, precisely the reason why he’s a tool bag. And C. Was clearly TRYING to act like what he thought an artist should act like. (In his case, you could tell he had a picture in his mind of artists having to be very mysterious and serious.) The few times he opened his mouth, it would only be to talk about his dreadful pictures or the fact that he’s been shooting photographs for 6 years. I tried to mess with him a little to at least get a good laugh out of the situation, so I attempted to snatch the sunglasses from his face to see what he would do, but he shot back before I could get a hold of them and said, “You ain’t my girl.” “What???” I replied. He said, “You can’t just wear my glasses, you ain’t my girl.” Was this guy on drugs? I have to say that was the icing on top of a fantastic cake of a cab ride.